This is for ONLY MALES AND THEIR AIRSTREAM travel experiences.
There is one thing that wives and, I guess girlfriends as well, want... to "help" you become socialized and, at least, somewhat presentable while in public. Public means one or more individuals that you have never met before and probably will never meet ever again.
That is a given. When you are traveling in your Airstream, the people at one camp are not going to notice that you are wearing the same pants and shirt you have worn for the last two weeks. But, they were color coordinated. That is a big plus.
This is camping. Not a Sunday Social. Then you begin to hear the... sweet talk for you to break in a clean, sterile tee shirt, pants or maybe a complete overhaul. Or... underwear... gasp.
Women do not understand. Their sense of smell may be very keen, but even that sense weakens over the long haul of a two, three week camping vacation. Even the trailer may lose that new smell, or at best, the fresh disinfectant smell from a massive sterilization from the start.
Fish smell just as good in the water as in your pants pocket, while fly fishing without something convenient to carry your limit. But, hey... we are guys. Nine years old or... seventy... we are nine year olds in a body damaged by catering to women. OK, there I said it. It could be a death wish on my part. But I am discussing HAIR.
Step ONE: The trim before the trip...
At the beginning of a trip, you are "asked" to get a hair cut. With or without a coupon at Sports Clip. But, you do it. All of the rest of us can pick YOU out of a crowd of 1000 campers... all cleaned up like someone looking for a new job. Well... have I news for you. Resist. Make excuses. Delay. I forgot. The salon was not where it was suppose to be. Pal... you are doing good. I am proud of you, up to this point.
Step TWO: Facial hair... Neanderthal or even better.
-Let that mustache blossom into a wild knit mass of wild hairs.
-Let that facial hair express itself like someone in a 19th Century wanted poster,
-Just let it... rip, other than to do some trimming so you are not filter feeding with hair connecting your upper lip to your chin type mustache. OK. You can only get away with so much... the first time.
-Even go so far as curling those left and right ends up for a happy face, or down for a biker mean face. Either way... good.
The wife, children, girlfriend... will use this line on you:
"Honey. You look so young and handsome WITHOUT (fill in the blank)."
Oh yeah. I heard that one on our FIRST long camping adventure. Grow a backbone. Resist the pressure. Just look surprised... and... hurt. Don't say one word. Just turn and realize that now... this mustache and facial hair has a MISSION. Much like the 24 month US/RA Viet Nam mission... a beginning AND an end. The two years I was in the Army, I had no more or less than five facial hairs at one time. I was a true disappointment among my peers.
Even though it, the beard, facial hair and the mustache ITCH LIKE FLEAS have INFESTED all of it... go for the Hairy Beast on this trip. Don't give in, even if this bristle is driving... you... nuts. Have some fun on your terms. As simple as they are and no matter how miserable you might see yourself when a mirror is showing up everywhere in the trailer.
Buy a western hat when your hair becomes matted from the lack of a shower with, soap. Ignore the hair growing out of your collar and ears. They are decorations, much like pine needles on a big tall beetle infested pine tree in Colorado. We all have to die sometime. Do it with... style, at least.
When you finally DO shave this wild stuff. Do it, parts at a time. Left side this day and maybe some from your chin. Nobody is going to mess with you at a campground, unless some dogs are running wild at the camp site.
Try it. I found myself with two daughters nine months later from two separate June camping trips, ending with February surprises when I was clean shaven and sanitized. This hairy beast look might just save you some future vote to travel to some girly activities in the future. Being out numbered three to one for trip planning.
The last five week trip has my hairless corpse with no change... but this facial hair... I look like a Gorilla on steroids. Husbands on our cul-de-sac wish... that they could get away with this, just once.
We know it all has to end eventually. And it will. But you made the best of situation and lived through it all. Next time you hear the "Honey....". Get that Gorilla on Steroids look growing tomorrow.
There is one thing that wives and, I guess girlfriends as well, want... to "help" you become socialized and, at least, somewhat presentable while in public. Public means one or more individuals that you have never met before and probably will never meet ever again.
That is a given. When you are traveling in your Airstream, the people at one camp are not going to notice that you are wearing the same pants and shirt you have worn for the last two weeks. But, they were color coordinated. That is a big plus.
This is camping. Not a Sunday Social. Then you begin to hear the... sweet talk for you to break in a clean, sterile tee shirt, pants or maybe a complete overhaul. Or... underwear... gasp.
Women do not understand. Their sense of smell may be very keen, but even that sense weakens over the long haul of a two, three week camping vacation. Even the trailer may lose that new smell, or at best, the fresh disinfectant smell from a massive sterilization from the start.
Fish smell just as good in the water as in your pants pocket, while fly fishing without something convenient to carry your limit. But, hey... we are guys. Nine years old or... seventy... we are nine year olds in a body damaged by catering to women. OK, there I said it. It could be a death wish on my part. But I am discussing HAIR.
Step ONE: The trim before the trip...
At the beginning of a trip, you are "asked" to get a hair cut. With or without a coupon at Sports Clip. But, you do it. All of the rest of us can pick YOU out of a crowd of 1000 campers... all cleaned up like someone looking for a new job. Well... have I news for you. Resist. Make excuses. Delay. I forgot. The salon was not where it was suppose to be. Pal... you are doing good. I am proud of you, up to this point.
Step TWO: Facial hair... Neanderthal or even better.
-Let that mustache blossom into a wild knit mass of wild hairs.
-Let that facial hair express itself like someone in a 19th Century wanted poster,
-Just let it... rip, other than to do some trimming so you are not filter feeding with hair connecting your upper lip to your chin type mustache. OK. You can only get away with so much... the first time.
-Even go so far as curling those left and right ends up for a happy face, or down for a biker mean face. Either way... good.
The wife, children, girlfriend... will use this line on you:
"Honey. You look so young and handsome WITHOUT (fill in the blank)."
Oh yeah. I heard that one on our FIRST long camping adventure. Grow a backbone. Resist the pressure. Just look surprised... and... hurt. Don't say one word. Just turn and realize that now... this mustache and facial hair has a MISSION. Much like the 24 month US/RA Viet Nam mission... a beginning AND an end. The two years I was in the Army, I had no more or less than five facial hairs at one time. I was a true disappointment among my peers.
Even though it, the beard, facial hair and the mustache ITCH LIKE FLEAS have INFESTED all of it... go for the Hairy Beast on this trip. Don't give in, even if this bristle is driving... you... nuts. Have some fun on your terms. As simple as they are and no matter how miserable you might see yourself when a mirror is showing up everywhere in the trailer.
Buy a western hat when your hair becomes matted from the lack of a shower with, soap. Ignore the hair growing out of your collar and ears. They are decorations, much like pine needles on a big tall beetle infested pine tree in Colorado. We all have to die sometime. Do it with... style, at least.
When you finally DO shave this wild stuff. Do it, parts at a time. Left side this day and maybe some from your chin. Nobody is going to mess with you at a campground, unless some dogs are running wild at the camp site.
Try it. I found myself with two daughters nine months later from two separate June camping trips, ending with February surprises when I was clean shaven and sanitized. This hairy beast look might just save you some future vote to travel to some girly activities in the future. Being out numbered three to one for trip planning.
The last five week trip has my hairless corpse with no change... but this facial hair... I look like a Gorilla on steroids. Husbands on our cul-de-sac wish... that they could get away with this, just once.
We know it all has to end eventually. And it will. But you made the best of situation and lived through it all. Next time you hear the "Honey....". Get that Gorilla on Steroids look growing tomorrow.
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