Dear all,
I have been with my partner for 14 months, I am desperately in love with him. He is everything to me apart from one major problem.
He won't have sex.
We have had proper sex twice only and both those times he laid there looking nervous and very uncomfortable. He even covered his face with his elbow.
I have had every excuse under the sun from him regarding not having sex.
Once a month he will pleasure me as such and have me do it back to him, but no sex.
He cannot even passionate kiss me, it is just pecks on the lips, I have never experienced anything like it.
I have questioned him so many times and is all he says is 'I have been single so long I have no sex drive'
Surely if that was the case he would want it all the more"
I have lost count the number of mornings we have laid in bed side to side for hours with him hardly even touching me.
In the working week he comes to bed after I am asleep and gets up before I get up.
He says I am his longest relationship, at nearly 40 years of age I find that strange.
Also, all his friends I have met who have known him many years have never known him to have a relationship, they have only ever known of me.
His friends have told that when they do 'lads things' on stag parties etc... when they go to see strippers he stands there staring at the floor, refusing to look and looking very uncomfortable, he has told me he hates anything like that (which even though I hate those things too, I do know most men like or are ok with them)
I have these torturing images in my head of him in the past having rampant sex and now with me he cannot, I feel like I am going to pass out when these thoughts come into my head, he assures me this was not the case. Do you think this was the case"
I know he was not a virgin before he met me (I just know) so why is he behaving this way with me?
And I am pretty sure he is not gay (as I know a lot of people would think that he is reading this)
I don't know if this is relevent but he has only one relative alive, his mother, with who he has a very 'overly' close relationship with. Prior to being with me, he would holiday with her many times a year (he says she is lonely so he does so much with her), I personally think it is too much.
Also, she only lives down the road from me but he still has not introduced me to her, apparently she can be nasty and embarrassing (which his friends have confirmed) but still, I would like to meet her, he leaves me sitting home alone whilst he pops over to her.
The no sex in our relationship is actually starting to make me feel mentally ill, but as I am so involved with him now I will have to break my own heart so bad to leave him, I don't think I can do that.
He knows what he is doing to me, but he cannot, will not do anything about it, I want to scream.
I am so so so sad, I am bleeding inside. I look at couples in the street and wonder if they have sex... to me, it is now becoming an act I do not recognise.
I know he loves me, so why won't he get help"
He is so affectionate towards me in every other way, cuddles me all the time, holds me close, holds my hand in public etc.
I cannot leave him, I know I should.
If this relationship does not work out, I am pretty sure he will be on his own forever, so why will he not help us and have a chance at being in loving relationship for many years?
I feel that I may have to remain celibate for the rest of my life to be with him (at only 40 years old)
My head is all over place, I keep losing my temper with him because I am so mentally frustrated.
Why is he like this" please offer me some words of wisdom.
I have been with my partner for 14 months, I am desperately in love with him. He is everything to me apart from one major problem.
He won't have sex.
We have had proper sex twice only and both those times he laid there looking nervous and very uncomfortable. He even covered his face with his elbow.
I have had every excuse under the sun from him regarding not having sex.
Once a month he will pleasure me as such and have me do it back to him, but no sex.
He cannot even passionate kiss me, it is just pecks on the lips, I have never experienced anything like it.
I have questioned him so many times and is all he says is 'I have been single so long I have no sex drive'
Surely if that was the case he would want it all the more"
I have lost count the number of mornings we have laid in bed side to side for hours with him hardly even touching me.
In the working week he comes to bed after I am asleep and gets up before I get up.
He says I am his longest relationship, at nearly 40 years of age I find that strange.
Also, all his friends I have met who have known him many years have never known him to have a relationship, they have only ever known of me.
His friends have told that when they do 'lads things' on stag parties etc... when they go to see strippers he stands there staring at the floor, refusing to look and looking very uncomfortable, he has told me he hates anything like that (which even though I hate those things too, I do know most men like or are ok with them)
I have these torturing images in my head of him in the past having rampant sex and now with me he cannot, I feel like I am going to pass out when these thoughts come into my head, he assures me this was not the case. Do you think this was the case"
I know he was not a virgin before he met me (I just know) so why is he behaving this way with me?
And I am pretty sure he is not gay (as I know a lot of people would think that he is reading this)
I don't know if this is relevent but he has only one relative alive, his mother, with who he has a very 'overly' close relationship with. Prior to being with me, he would holiday with her many times a year (he says she is lonely so he does so much with her), I personally think it is too much.
Also, she only lives down the road from me but he still has not introduced me to her, apparently she can be nasty and embarrassing (which his friends have confirmed) but still, I would like to meet her, he leaves me sitting home alone whilst he pops over to her.
The no sex in our relationship is actually starting to make me feel mentally ill, but as I am so involved with him now I will have to break my own heart so bad to leave him, I don't think I can do that.
He knows what he is doing to me, but he cannot, will not do anything about it, I want to scream.
I am so so so sad, I am bleeding inside. I look at couples in the street and wonder if they have sex... to me, it is now becoming an act I do not recognise.
I know he loves me, so why won't he get help"
He is so affectionate towards me in every other way, cuddles me all the time, holds me close, holds my hand in public etc.
I cannot leave him, I know I should.
If this relationship does not work out, I am pretty sure he will be on his own forever, so why will he not help us and have a chance at being in loving relationship for many years?
I feel that I may have to remain celibate for the rest of my life to be with him (at only 40 years old)
My head is all over place, I keep losing my temper with him because I am so mentally frustrated.
Why is he like this" please offer me some words of wisdom.
In so much turmoil
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